Finishing Things

I sit in my group exhibition and watch people come and see the work and chat with my fellow honours students. The Everest size achievement that was opening night has passed and I don’t think I’ve properly realised. At the start of the I didn’t think I would be able to create a body of work, write an exegesis and successfully finish a speech at a conference, yet now I wish I could do it all again.

The people who helped me throughout this year are legion, and they deserve more thanks than I can give. At the end of it all however I realise how important my fellow honours students have been to me, they kept me sane and ensured the tears shed were minimal.

“What’s next?” people ask. Honestly I don’t know, but I have faith everything is going to work out. I say faith, what I really mean is I have my fingers crossed and I’m not standing under any ladders or near any black cats. “PhD?” maybe one day, at least not this January……

Why I Love Simon

Love Simon was a movie I was ready to hate and didn't even want to watch. Initially when I read Simon vs. The Homo Sapien Agenda in 2015, I was left underwhelmed with a tacky predictable story and ending. The language of the book felt basic and the story was overall a rehash of every YA book the world has seen before. I was ready to forget this movie and when I teared up more times than I would have liked, I knew I would remember this movie. For the first time in a long time I actually related to one of the characters and his name was Simon.

Queer movies always seem to have strong leads, Brokeback Mountain, Holding the Man and numerous others. Love Simon had the opposite a teenager, although being played by a straight 23 year old, who wasn't confident, didn't have everything worked out, fell in love over the internet and didn't have any life experience. Although the movie included a torturous blackmailing plot with an outright evil character that they try and make you like and American teenage cliches, I did ashamedly really like this movie.

"I’ve been thinking about why I haven’t come out yet. Maybe part of me wants to hold onto who’ve I’ve always been, just a little longer." (Love Simon, 2018)

Something I wasn't expecting was that it forced me to look back at high school and how unhappy I was, how awful I always felt, how unsure of myself. Even thinking of it now weeks after I watched to movie, I tear up thinking about it, the movie hit really close to home. Simon passes as a straight guy, which unfortunately is something that makes the movie more marketable, and it has much to be desired in its taste of jokes, and the portrayal of gay culture and the LGBTIQ+ community. Saying that however it's a baby step for all of the No voters who will inevitably watch it.

Love Simon wasn't perfect, its worth a watch and it's a step in the right direction for mainstream queer films. 

Making art and Pink triangles

I am in no way a professional artist. But for the last few years I’ve been making ‘art’ as part of my university degree. For some reason after finishing my degree I decided to do another year, something they call honours. It’s week 5 and I have taken my first self-portraits, they are piss-poor, but they always are when you start, at least they are for me. 

Everything with me is always portraits, always in a studio, they never look happy and they are always, always, about me. Maybe I am vain, maybe I should take photos of other people for once, but that’s never been too fun for me. 

It's called Pink Pyramid or something moronic like that. I think it's about me hiding, still not accepting myself, and pretending that my identity is as simple and clear cut as a pink triangle (or 3 of them).